Creative pursuits are not meant to be chained down by a 9–5 commitment. If you do what you love for money, you will dislike it.
This is what I heard. It’s what I thought for a long period of time.
Now if you think I have the answer to the question, look no further because I don’t.
I don’t know. That’s the phrase I return to. Every sentence ends with, “I’m not really sure but it’s just what I think.”
Because I believe that’s all we can have, opinions but not the answer.
When you get older, the world is not easily divided. Things get blurry and confusing especially in your twenties.
Place us all in a room and ask us questions. You’ll find one similarity. We all would desperately like to know one thing: What do we want in life?
In twenties, in my twenties, I’ve never been surer that all I want to do is write for a living, which scares me.
Because being just a writer is something I’ve never done.
It’s a fact I’ve ran away from most of my life. I knew I loved stories, so I taught myself to read more and write better. But I’ve never made it all about writing. I learned to design posts, make content, make art — because if I’m just a writer, if I only have my words — someone would tell me I suck at it and that would be the worst.
Because secretly, I’m proud. I’m proud of every snippet I write, whether grammatically correct or not. I would hate to have the realisation that even as a writer I’m not good enough.
So yes, I’m scared of writing for a living.
Which is why, I need to do it.
Cover Image by Serena Tyrrell on Unsplash
Comments